What does Gather.Build.Protect. mean?

Welcome, friend! I am so glad you’re here and learning how to become your own advocate.

I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Emily Cox. I am a self-defense instructor, who helps survivors heal and learn to protect themselves, and I educate youth and my fellow realtors on personal boundaries and safety. I am a mother, wife, cat-mom, and most importantly, a life-lover.

I’d like to briefly tell you my story.

Some of my life experiences have been horrific and some have been out-of-this-world wonderful! They all have allowed me to grow in ways for which I will be forever grateful. Thirty years ago, I would have never thought I’d say that. When I was 18, I was raped by a man that I knew. After that experience, I was depressed, anxious, and done - done with life. I harmed the body that was given to me, overdosed on the drugs that were supposed to help me, and several times tried to end my life - the only life that I had. The truth was that I didn’t want to die. I just didn’t want to hurt anymore. As I reflect upon my 52 years of life (Holy crap!) - this beautiful and brutal (or as I like to call it, bru-tiful) life I choose to live - I’m grateful for every breath I take. Gratitude has become what I live by every day.

I’m well now. Really well. After years of connecting with my spirituality, going to therapy, learning to protect myself through R.A.D., (Read the full story of how I became an instructor here.) and finally getting on medication, I am now not only living, but loving my life. This doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle with thoughts and feelings that I don’t want, but it does mean that I have the tools to tell them to leave me alone and reclaim my peace. We’re all human and every day may not look perfect, (Disclaimer: it’s not supposed to.) but that doesn’t mean that we can’t have joy and impact others towards good and make this world a better place to live in.

I now see and mentor so many that suffer as I did, and it is my mission in life to lift these people up and help them see their worth, as well as educate the growing generation about warning signs of abuse and how to advocate for themselves. So, to start off my blog, I thought I’d talk about my mission, Gather. Build. Protect.

Gather

I have always been a GATHERer of all people. I feel an instant connection with most people I meet, but especially those who are more emotionally sensitive and those who need extra love and care. I guess that's pretty much all of us, right?

As a young child, I was shy and unsure of others. I was also very sensitive to other’s emotions. At Christmas time, we as a family would go to the Christmas tree farm to pick out a tree. When the lucky tree was tagged and paid for, I was down the rows of trees, crying and saying goodbye to all of the seemingly sad trees that had not been chosen to come with us. I’m pretty sure my parents thought I was crazy. I honestly wished that I could bring all the trees home with me. I started gathering at a young age. (Wink wink.)

As I grew older, I attracted friends through authentic love and kindness and was able to create a safe place for everyone. My sensitive gift helped me to understand others and have the perspective I needed to meet everyone as they are and honor their own personal journey. As I go out into the world, day to day, I hope that all I meet will feel welcome and loved by me. I hope that as you’ve GATHERed here, you will know that you are seen, loved, and understood.

Build

My seller and I getting pumped to crawl into a black-widow-infested crawl space.

BUILDing up humans is also one of my purposes here on earth. Whether I’m uplifting women in my R.A.D. Self-Defense Program, educating youth about consent, teaching my fellow real estate agents how to be safe, or being an advocate for my clients who are selling or buying their home, I feel called to be compassionate and kind to all humans.

I’ve often wondered why I loved helping others and loved BUILDing them up, especially since I had some traumatic experiences as a youth. I’m grateful that my assault didn’t jade me. I’ve always been nice, kind, and able to sincerely compliment and validate others. I can see their potential even when they can’t see it for themselves. I see souls. When I first got my real estate license, I remember feeling like I was totally in my element. It was all about meeting new people, helping the ones I already knew, and working with other agents to get the job done for everyone. It made me happy, (and still does,) to help my clients realize their dream of home ownership.

One of my favorite sellers had a home to sell. The home needed a lot of work, but we fixed it up, staged it and priced it right and waited for the right buyer. She came along and put an offer on the home! Then she had her home inspection and appraisal where they found out that there were no floor supports in the crawl space. Yikes! I proposed a plan to put supports under the floor in the crawl space with the buyer’s agent and loan officer. The buyer’s agent said that wasn't part of his job description. I might have gasped just a little as he said that. Isn’t it your job to support your buyer and help her close on the home? I guess not??? Supporting, educating and loving my clients is my job. So, I gathered my sellers, the loan officer, and myself, and we went into the black- widow -infested crawl space for five hours and got the job done well for the buyer. After this experience, I realized even more that my job is to build others up, support them and love them. Not just my sellers, but the buyer too. We all felt so good that the buyer now had a structurally safe home for her family. I don't want to be like the buyer's agent. It’s all our job to build each other up, to support them and to show love.

Protect

In 2019, my daughter and I sat at the table and were trying to figure out what my logo should look like. My daughter is a beautiful artist with a bachelor's degree in art, so I asked for her help. After an hour or so we both came up with the triangle logo you see here on my website. I felt that the logo needed to be three sided and pyramid shaped to signify what I wanted people to feel when they saw it. Pyramids have protected sacred burials for thousands of years. There's a feeling of power and protection when I see a pyramid. I want people to feel safe and protected when they are at an event with me and on this site. I also want visitors to think of three precious words: body, mind, and spirit. When we are healing from a traumatic experience, all three of these need to be aligned so we can find the peace we are looking for. All of this resonated with me and the work that I do daily. And finally, the inner part of the triangle swirls inward resembling an embrace PROTECTing us all. It holds a safe place for growth, introspection, and progression.

I live to help others and make their life journey a little less brutal and a little more beautiful. Daily I seek to protect all humans in my life, who choose to sit at my table, and who God puts in my day. I love teaching self-defense to women. Those who come into my R.A.D. and realtor-safety classes are not only learning how to protect their bodies from harm, but also seeking to protect their sometimes-wounded hearts so they can continue to heal. I create a safe place for all to learn, grow and heal. And let's not forget my clients - both buyers and sellers. They deserve to have an advocate to protect them from potential litigation and protect their home while selling.

I strive to GATHER all in, BUILD them up, and PROTECT them. This is who I am. I’m not perfect. I still struggle with high anxiety, but I show up every day. Every day I get up, thank God for allowing me one more day on this bru-tiful earth, and I make my bed, then life hands me a group of humans. Some struggle along with me, some are in a good space, and some just need a hug. Then I go to bed and thank God that I had this day. I’m better because of the humans that I meet. And they make me want to be better and do better.

So, welcome to my website and my mission. I am here to uplift and empower you on your own journey to healing, self-awareness, and love. I am here to help you become your own advocate and help you to set the boundaries you need to love yourself, make yourself a priority, and make this world a kinder place to live. Let’s embrace this journey together!

Do you need someone to speak to your school, church group, or business about personal safety practices? Schedule a time to meet with me.

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Gather

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Falling In Love with Life: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly